My husband and I will be celebrating our 19th wedding anniversary in August. Other than my parents, my siblings and a couple of friends, this is the longest relationship of my life. Long-term had not every been a plan of mine when I was younger. My dating record could set a land speed record, I’d never lasted more than 6 months dating any one person, and my work records was 3 1/2 years.

With friends, dates and jobs I could determine if it was going to last pretty early on in the relationship. I was sure that I would never find a long-term romantic relationship when I met my husband. Actually, when I met him I was pretty sure it would be just a summer fling and it would be over by Fall. I thought this because he was younger than me and would certainly move on to someone else and because he was very young, 23 when we started dating. And my life and track record had no expecation of a long-term relationship. As it turns out, by the end of that summer we were moving in together and 3 weeks after that we were engaged and a year after we moved in together we were married.

It’s certainly been 19 years of ups and downs, including the usual fights, arguments and dramas including how to live with each other and with each other’s families., purchasing a home and embarking on home renovations In addition, we have had the stresses some of the more unusual including infertility treatments, the decision to not pursue continued treatment or adoption, 3 graduate school programs between us. To say that Sean has been the stablizing influence in my life would be an understatement. This is the guy who has worked at the same job for 19 years, he started 2 weeks before our wedding and who enjoys the simple things in life. And I have added some dimension to his life.

Through all of this we have had each other. We are happier and more in love today than we were 20 years ago. Happy Valentine’s Day, Sean.